Always a Bridesmaid: Trusting God’s Plan in the Waiting

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”– Jeremiah 29:11

The music begins. The doors open. Once again, I find myself walking down the aisle, not as the bride, but as a bridesmaid.

This is my ninth time in this role. Over the years, I have learned how to show up fully for someone else’s big day: fluffing the dress, calming nerves, and keeping the bride smiling. I have been a bridesmaid six times and maid of honor three. I know what is expected.

Still, as joyful as these days are, there is always a quiet ache tucked behind my smile.

A Dream Deferred

She walks in, radiant and glowing, ready to start her forever. I cheer her on wholeheartedly, but there is a gentle tug at my heart longing, a whisper: Will my day ever come?

I am 35 now, and this is not what I imagined. The dream I had as a little girl of walking down the aisle in white—is still just that…a dream.

I flash back to being 16, sitting beside my mom in the living room, flipping through bridal magazines. We talked about flowers, dresses, and wedding colors—pink, brown, and white. My mom would wear a soft baby pink dress. My dad would do his Army Dress Greens. We poured hours into planning a day we thought was inevitable.

But just months later, everything changed. My mom passed away, and the wedding dreams we shared were tucked away with her memory. 

“What’s Wrong with Me?”

In my 20s, I believed I would meet the right person. I dated, hoping each new relationship might lead to forever. But rejection followed me like a shadow. Some relationships I ended; others, they ended me. Each goodbye added another crack to the dream.

Then came my first wedding as a maid of honor, what a beautiful day. We laughed and talked about my future wedding, where she would return the favor. But that day never came. A tragic car accident took her life just a few years later.

By 30, after six weddings and two turns as maid of honor, I quietly packed away the bridal magazines. I tried to let go of the dream and embrace being the one who celebrates others.

At each wedding, I celebrated wholeheartedly. I never let the couple see my tears. They deserved a perfect day. But on the drive home—when the dress was wrinkled, the music had faded, and the venue was empty—I cried. Not out of jealousy, but grief.

I wondered, what is wrong with me?

The Well-Meaning Advice That Stings

Two of my “favorite” quotes from well-meaning people—ones I have heard more times than I care to count—are:

• “I don’t know why you’re still single.”

• “Don’t worry, it will happen when you aren’t looking.”

  
  

Honestly? I do not know why I am still single. I have asked myself that question more times than I can count. I have wrestled with it in prayer, searching for an answer. But the only response I keep coming back to is this:

This is where the Lord wants me right now.

Choosing to Live

So, now I cannot explain why I am still single.

And as for the idea that “it’ll happen when you’re not looking,” I have done all the things—signed up for dating apps, joined singles groups, and made an effort. I have downloaded and deleted dating apps more times than I care to admit. Yet here I am—still as single as they come.

I am in my mid-30s, and I never imagined my life would look like this. If you had asked me a decade ago, I would have painted a vastly different picture: a loving husband, a beautiful home, and maybe even a few adopted teenagers who finally had a place to call their own.

That was my dream. That was my plan.

But that is the thing—it was my plan. God’s plan is often different. He is the author of my story.

Not On Pause

I do not always understand why my story has unfolded this way. But I do know this:

God is good. He knows the desires of my heart. He sees me. He has not forgotten me. And whether I remain single or one day walk down the aisle, my life is not on pause. It is happening right now.

Yes, there are hard days. Days when the loneliness stings—when I long for a hand to hold, someone to share simple, quiet moments with. Nights I wish I had someone to walk beside me through life’s difficulties, someone to pray with, dream with, and build a Godly future with.

And there are moments—honest, raw moments—when I wonder if I am missing something, when I cry out to God, asking, “Why am I still single?” Wondering if I am too independent, to set in my ways, or if there is something I should be doing differently.

But in those moments, I cling to God. I know He can manage my emotions. He already knew I would be walking this path and feeling these things. The pain and grief I feel at times are not too big for Him. He wraps His arms around me and whispers that He has a plan for my life.

A Full, Purpose-Driven Life

Here is the truth I come back to:

I am not waiting for my life to begin.

Yes, there are hard days. But there are also beautiful days.

I have two precious cats who greet me with love. While they cannot talk, they bring joy to my life. I have run half-marathons and am training for a full marathon. I hike, kayak, paddleboard, bike, and explore. I scream my heart out on roller coasters and serve in multiple ministries at church.

I am not defined by my singleness. I am living a full, meaningful, purpose-driven life.

If You are Waiting Too…

If you are single and wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” please hear this:

There is nothing wrong with you. God has placed you exactly where He needs you to be. He has not forgotten you. He sees your pain. His plan is far greater than we can imagine. Keep moving forward and pursue God’s will with confidence.

Trusting the Author of My Story

For now, I choose to embrace this season with joy, trusting that God’s plan is still unfolding. There are moments when the longing creeps in, but I know I am not forgotten. God sees me, knows my heart, and is leading me exactly where I need to be.

So, wherever you are in this season—whether waiting, healing, or learning to trust—know that God is with you. His love is not dependent on your relationship status, and His plans for you are not on hold.

Keep walking in faith, pursuing Him with all your heart, and embracing the life He has given you today. His timing is perfect, and His story for you is still unfolding in ways far beyond what you can see.

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”– Matthew 6:34